Way back when, I told the tale of a big spider that apparently hitched its way all the way to Victoria from the Czech Republic. I also mentioned that I killed it. In my bathroom. It was the end of that spider, and the end of my worries... until recently.
Check out the MONSTER that was hanging out on the roof of our balcony the other afternoon!!! (PS- Mom, don't look. I mean it.)
I just have a few things to say about it:
1. THANK GOD I wasn't home to see this!!!!!! Poor Marty-- bless his heart-- he was going to check on our sunflower outside when he had the bejeezus scared out of him by this (not so) little guy. See the fuzz on its body?! See his blackish red rat tail-esque legs?! See how like an honest to God tarantula it is?! DISGUSTING!!!!
2. An aside: Kudos to Marty for being brave enough to snap a photo of this bugger (get it- bug?! Hahahaha), albeit from behind the somewhat blurry safety of our patio door. I can't say what I would have done in the situation-- set up camp on the couch and watch its every move in horror? Phone the police and get a squad car on it?-- but I can assure you I would not have possessed enough wits to photograph it. Heaven forbid that the camera flash would cause it to drop from its ceiling perch onto my unsuspecting head! (and an aside to an aside: we don't know where it is now. Marty ran away.... erm... to have lunch with me at work... and when he came back home, it was gone. The sickening mystery deepens.)
3. How the hell do you deal with creatures of this magnitude? In my (zen-like, peaceful, love-filled) mind, all spiders must die, but I know I could never muster up the necessary courage, skill, or brute force to do the deed myself to something this big. It would be akin to killing a small cat! Do spiders bleed? Or would it just be guts? Either way, the off-white carpet in my apartment just couldn't handle the mess. (In the unlikely-- please JesusJosephMary make it unlikely!-- event that something like this actually crawled into my house! Eep!!)
4. I guess when I was told that Victoria was part of its very own rainforest system, it really meant 'rainforest' and not 'rainforest-sans-tropical-spiders'. For shame. I had been thoroughly enjoying the splendour of brilliant flowers and lush vegetation everywhere. Now I'm walking around like a bad spy trainee in a cheesy 70s movie, inspecting every nook, cranny, and corner for evidence of spiders on steroids. Have mercy!!