Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Borderline Half-Empty

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I haven't really been myself lately. It could be the (frizzy... poufy... horrible triangle...) hair, it could be the fact that I haven't had a good night's sleep since... oh... since my (horrible... giggling at 4:30 am... singing like rejects from American Idol...) neighbours moved in upstairs, and it could also be that I'm feeling a tad bored. I don't know. I just haven't been the same upbeat self that I once knew myself to be.

I've always considered myself a 'glass-half-full' kind of person, and even though I've been known to go on massive spewing rants about how much I hate such-and-such a thing or person (have I mentioned my upstairs neighbours?), overall, I'm still a pretty positive woman. Things seem to have changed, though. Lately I've been feeling down, upset, and stuck in a foaming rut of nasty goo. I really think that poor sleep quality and a hard-time-adjusting-to-ten-hour-work-days is taking its toll, but now I need to decide what to do about it. I can't just fester in toxic (a la Britney) thoughts about everything from work to our home-- it's just not good for me.

Hence, allow me to unveil my fantasy strategy for dealing with everything that's been bothering me lately:

1. The neighbours!

I oscillate between fantasizing about having them tossed out of the building with nothing but a little sack on a stick to take with them, and moving above them and subjecting them to the same things we deal with on a daily basis: pathetic singing, patio door sliding noisily open and closed so we (nonsmokers) can have a 'smoke break' every 5 seconds, tossing cigarette butts onto their balcony instead of using an ash tray (for our phantom cigarettes), staying up to ungodly hours and then setting our alarm for even ungodlier hours and letting it ring until their brains turn psychotic... etc., etc. Throw in a little stomping for good measure, and we've got the makings of sweet, sweet revenge. (Alas, I'm a wimp when it comes to exacting vengeance, so I think my realistic plan of action involves phoning our landlord (again) and filing (another) complaint... seriously, I can't wait until the fantasy day when we have enough money to get our own place. I dream about that every. single. day.)

2. My job!

I've discovered in my month or so of working that my two jobs are very very different from each other. In one, the minutes creep by like hours (days!) and I have a hard time 'making work' because there's so little work to actually be done! In the other, the days move swiftly, and even though I'm not doing the most life fulfilling work I can imagine for myself, I don't count down the days to the next stat holiday at every chance I get. Hmm. My plan of attack: suck it up until my contract ends and then get the hell out! I wish I enjoyed the job more. Really, I do. But, as my dear friend Kathy once said, I also wish I could have a bath with baby ducks, and I don't see that happening any time soon...

3. My total lack of physical activity lately.

Simple: Work out!

4. Misc. things!

My haircut? That's what hats and 'do rags are for! (Wa-hoo for those 'do rags!!) Boxes piled up in the living room? Get a storage unit! Haven't picked up knitting needles since... I'm ashamed to admit it? KNIT, KNIT, KNIT!!!!!!!

My glass may be bordering on half-empty at the moment, but at least there's still some of the sweet sweet chai latte (my favourite drink) left in it...


carmelclose said...

Ahhh, Chai Latte makes everything seem so much better - hang in there!!

Robin said...

Hang in there! Maybe take a walk on the beach and let some of that salty air blow your blues away. Don't forget to inhale deeply!

granolagirl said...

Chai latte is definitely my comfort drink of choice!
Hang in there, we all have times like this, we just have to make sure we are not passive, that we decide what to change or how we want to be and follow through with it. Find something you love (and have time for) and sink your energy into it!

Jasmine said...

On your day off grab a thermos of Chai and a thermos of soup and go for a long bike ride by the ocean with Marty. Or drive somewhere new and scenic if weather or energy don't allow a long ride.

Remember favourite times from your trip to Czech last summer, figure out summer plans involving the ocean and rainforests, maybe allow yourselves to look for and spend money on a new quality piece of furniture that may help you organize your stuff or improve your homey feelings...

Shitty about the neighbours though, they really hold the power to making a living space insufferable.

granolagirl said...

Tag lady you are it!

Rose said...

It'll come to you.

It's hard to go from all-reflection time to no reflection time. Peace is in there somewhere.