Monday, January 15, 2007

Caution: Unchecked Rage Ahead

Last week I had the incredible experience of seeing a Cranio-Sacral Therapist for the first time. Going into the appointment, I wasn’t really sure what I could expect, but I did hope that she would be able to assist me in dislodging some very large chips (school, miscarriage, moving, etc.) off of my energetic shoulders. Well, I wasn’t disappointed. My therapist was incredibly skilled at reading energies, and she was able to help promote re-alignment in those crucial areas, as well as in areas I wasn’t even expecting.

One of the key recommendations she made for me (since you’re all apparently on a need-to-know basis now) was to let go of my tendency to take on other people’s issues and crap. My solar plexus was plagued with the weights of about a bazillion people’s problems, and she gave me permission to give all of that stuff back. This caused me immense relief when I was still in her cozy little office, but since stepping off of her healing table, I’ve been feeling something else entirely: completely and utterly irritated.

It’s like I’ve gone from being overly accommodating to other people (at my own expense) to being 100 percent about ME ME ME. Little things that never would have even bothered me before have taken on epic proportions in whatever part of my brain controls feelings of irritability. Upstairs neighbours listening to a little weekend music? Geez!!! Can’t a girl get any peace and quiet??!! Have to wait fifteen minutes to get on a cardio machine at the gym? Kuh!! I’m sick and tired of all this waiting!! In-laws phone in the middle of a hockey game? Hel-LO!! I am TRYING to WATCH the FREAKING FLAMES play the FREAKING OILERS!!! AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO PHONE DURING INTERMISSION!!!!!!!

Yes, it’s that bad.

Now, learning to say no to others might not be such a bad thing in general, but I don’t even feel especially nice anymore! I feel exasperated, bitchy, irritable, petulant, and really short-tempered. I don’t feel like myself at all.

I’m pretty sure (or at least really hopeful) that this cantankerous version of me is just a passing phase, one that will subside once I figure out how to maintain healthy boundaries. But starting to do this—now—after a whole lifetime of giving myself over to other people—might take some serious doing. In the meantime, if anybody has any favours that they’ve been waiting to ask of me… the magic 8 ball says it might be best to wait until Thursday or so. Or at least to offer the gods of petty anger some luscious fibres before asking!

1 comment:

Robin said...

A girl's gotta be cranky once in a while! (just hope your over it by the 25th ;) Seriously, take care of yourself!