V.D.: Are You a Lover or a Fighter?

Forget the glistening tear of the regretful 'if only I'd have known' variety: I happen to be a lover of Valentine's Day. Whether I've been single, dating, or married like I am now, I say you can't go wrong with a day that celebrates LOVE with CHOCOLATE! (Two of my favourite things!) True, I feel like the definition of love that gets celebrated on Valentine's Day proper is very hetero, straight-edged, and commercial, but still-- one can technically celebrate any kind of love on any day at all. Valentine's is just a great time to get everything in a red or pink wrapper and shaped like a heart! And chocolate! Did I mention the chocolate?

In honour of the Day of Love, and to pay homage to my New Favourite Blog of All Time, MegFowler.com, I am going to post my very own Love List!

(For those of you not yet in the know... and believe me, you should run right now to become in the know... OK, maybe not right now but perhaps after you finish reading MY post, Meg Fowler typically posts a weekly-ish Love List to chronicle things, people, and places that she's enamoured with for the moment. I love how specific, random, and always changing these lists are. Plus: When I read them, it makes my love for Mason jars feel AOK!)

Dana L.'s Love List: Because Really, What's NOT to Love?

- Marty
- Growing whole plants at home from single leaves or stems
- Thrift shopping
- Scoring priceless finds at thrift stores or used book stores (see: 'The Teenager and VD' example above. Priceless.)
- Tarot cards
- Decks of cards in general
- Rye bread with caraway seeds
- Lighthouses and windmills
- Religious icons
- Embroidery
- Alpaca wool
- Butter!
- Licorice Spice tea
- Depeche Mode, especially (at the moment), the Violator album
- Subtitled movies
- Found magazine

- The Astrological Clock in Prague

- Hummus! (All types: regular, roasted red pepper, roasted garlic, black bean, etc.)
- Sushi
- Listening to the same CD every night softly as I fall asleep
- Lavender
- Seeing crocuses sprouting up in FEBRUARY (February, people!)
- Finding new, non-saddlebag hiking pants
- Reading my horoscope at work; emailing it to Marty when it seems dead on
- Sending and receiving postcards
- Secretly plotting surprises for people I know
- Remembering random bits of information about people: scaring them a little if I bring said details up in conversation
- Our food processor
- Being an aunt but not a mom
- Reading blogs at work; stumbling across new blogs through other blogs
- Acupuncture
- Girl Guide patches
- NHL hockey
- My big pot of all natural beeswax lipgloss from The Beehive in Calgary (not to be confused with the Beehive here in Victoria)
- My retro 70's floor lamp, given to me FOR FREE by Janet
- signing notes as "Dana, M.A.", and putting my 6 years of postsecondary education to good use
- walking/hiking/kickboxing ASS enough that my muscles ache for days afterward
- making soup; feeling superior and extraordinarily healthy at work when my coworkers ask me if I made it myself
- making plans to knit amazing things; accumulating supplies to make amazing things
- red, pink, and orange things
- dance-offs and choreographed dance scenes
- 80s and 90s dance music, though only in small doses (What is love? Baby, don't hurt me!)
- Funny home videos... not America's Funniest, but something similar... especially reels with people falling down, slipping, or losing their balance. I know, I'm a horrible, horrible person


... and YOU?

(The tradition now is to either post a mini-list in the comments or to post your very own Love List on your blog and link to it in the comments! SPREAD THE LOVE, people! And Happy V.D.!)

When I grow up, I want to be just like Celia Deschin, Ph.D. Love those glasses!

Another Lesson Learned the Hard Way

I had been following a gently cleansing diet for nearly 2 months before I went to Calgary last week. Yes, I also did the Wild Rose D-Tox as part of it. (I must have been inspired by Karen's tales of 'ass blasting trips to the loo'... or not.) Even though, from the outset, it sounds nearly impossible to stick to an eating plan that forbids such wonderful foods as:

- chocolate
- cheese (and yogurt. And dairy except for butter. BLESS BUTTER!)
- fermented foods including vinegar (no pickles!), tempeh, soy sauce, yeasts, and alcohol
- wheat and flour
- refined sugars, including honey
- caffeine
- tropical fruits like pineapple, mango, papaya, and even dried fruits and grapes

... I find my body really loves me back when I make a valiant attempt to cut the crap out. It (my body) rewards me in multiple ways for my efforts, like keeping my stomach regular-looking and not bloated out like a nine-month pregnant belly every night; keeping my skin clear and more elastic; affording me more energy and stamina; and even letting me slip back into my favourite pair of pants without busting any seams. (My ma bought them for me in Thailand, where the sizes go something like: XXXS, XXS, XS, S, or GIANT THAI FISHERMAN'S PANTS FOR MEN. Of course they will always be too small unless I'm very diligent. Very. Very. Diligent.)

'The Pants' when they fit, circa 2006. Please ignore the 'long-haired-cat-in-a-steam-bath' look of the top half. FOCUS ON THE BOTTOM HALF!

Alas, although a cleansing diet helps transform 'Dana L.' into 'SUPER FABULOUS Dana L.', one (major) downside to the regiment is that I'd need much more than imaginary super powers to keep it up while on the road or visiting with... pretty much anybody. (Aside from my equally-sensitive-to-nearly-every-food-on-this-earth friends, and I have to say, I have quite a few of them!) Try stopping at any restaurant or eating over at anybody's house and handing them a list of all the 'do not eat' foods. That would pretty much be your cue to leave... Thank goodness I'm a social recluse for the most part!

When we went to Calgary, I decided to adopt the 'resistance is futile' motto, especially because I knew we would be staying at my inlaws' place, where fried foods, white flour, and melted cheese reign queen. I figured that I had been eating so well and being so good for so long that I could afford to relax the rules a little bit-- nay, I even deserved a break from all my saintliness.

Let's never do that again, OK?

We celebrated Marty's belated birthday with one of his mom's specialties: a monstrosity of a cake that managed to combine nearly half of the 'not allowed' foods into one gloriously elaborate confection. In one sitting, I ate a piece of white, wheat flour cake mixed with COCONUT CHOCOLATE and filled with layers of pudding, whipped cream, and pineapples. Oh, and sugar. Lots and lots of sugar. (I declined the offer to wash it down with a glass of red wine.) Resistance is futile, right?

As I was eating the cake, I thought to myself: 'This isn't so bad. It's not like the sugar and flour and dairy and tropical fruits and chocolate are killing me'. But then I had to digest it all. And let's just say I might as well have strapped a john to my ass (no, not that kind of john-- THIS IS A DIRT FREE BLOG! Well, sort of. I am talking about ass-blasting trips to the loo after all...).

The problem with the whole situation is that I only know how terrible I felt afterward, but not what food specifically triggered the horribleness. The whole point of eliminating so many foods at once is to re-introduce them gradually, and one at a time, so that your body can tell you plain as day what feels good and what doesn't. None of this smörgåsbord of everything-bad-all-at-once.
So it's time to start over now, isn't it? On Sunday when we got back home, I made not one but two wholesome soups, and I've been diving back into the goodness of salads and grains again. And butter. Sweet, sweet butter.

Lessons learned: 1. Resistance is NOT futile. Vive le resistance! 2. When trying to strike a balance in the eating department, the balance does NOT consist of nothing-nothing-and-nothing on one hand, and sugar-wheat-flour-dairy-more dairy-chocolate-and-pineapples on the other. But wouldn't it be neat if it did?

Dear Calgary:

After visiting you again on the fly for a few days last week, I have to say that I am wholly glad we broke up when I moved to the island a year and some ago. The long distance thing wouldn't have worked very well, and I have to say that I just can't deal with many of the things that go hand-in-hand with living together.

The floor mats in stores that are soaking wet with the snowy sludge of a thousand other people's dirty shoes? I don't miss those mats at all, and my pant hems also appreciate not getting doused anymore (although it is much more rainy here in Victoria than it ever will be in Calgary).

Crawling through traffic in a sea of Hummers and SUVs, spending hours on the Deerfoot just to get from Marty's parent's place to see my own family on the other side of town? I don't miss that, either.

Brown grass, salty roads, gravel and ice caked together where the adventurous dare to ride their bikes on the daily commute, so many people in a hurry all the time, biting wind that pierces through even the thickest of fleece/merino wool outfits, and temperatures that routinely change 30 or 40 degrees overnight (for better or for worse)-- I'm glad to be done with it all. Yes, Calgary, it was wise of us to end our long term relationship.

Our hot new van against the splendid (and green!) surroundings on the island

Our hot new van looking dirty and cold in the freezing conditions of Calgary. Notice the Traffic-esque cinematography of the blue hues. Nasty.

It's not all doom and gloom, though, Calgary-- although I have my issues, I am not so bitter an ex that all I can muster up is an unequivocal slam of you. Indeed, there are things I cherish about you and even miss about you. In no particular order (and not counting my family and friends-- those are just too obvious), these include:

Great falafels. Why oh why, in the restaurant capital of Canada, can I not seem to find a good, even a decent, falafel? There are some paltry imitations here in Victoria, but I have yet to stumble across anything that wins me over. Calgary, you still reign king in the falafel department.

Big skies. I always thought it was cliche and cowboyish to comment on the grandeur of prairie skies, but last Thursday, when the sky was mostly clear and the temperature was pleasantly mild, I saw more sky than I had seen in many months on the island. It was beautiful.

The MEC store. Two glorious levels of outdoor gear! Ach, Calgary-- you've left me pining for everything from hiking socks to full on kayaks!

Kananaskis. So close and so chock full of adventure! Also included in this category: a wide selection of detailed and accurate topographical maps of hiking trails. Why is there no such thing here on the island? Or random 'estimated distances' for island hikes? It doesn't help when the '4 km' hike ends up taking 4 whole hours! How are we supposed to plan our day trips that way??

The Farmer's Market at Currie Barracks. We have plenty of farmer's markets here in Vic, but nothing compares to the indoor goodness of the Calgary market and the sweetness of Lund's organic carrots.

Various restaurants: The Coup, Cadence, Diner Deluxe, Cedar's Deli, and Infusion restaurant out in Bragg Creek. Though I have to say, the sushi restaurants here in Victoria kick some serious ass, and the Blue Nile Ethiopian restaurant here gives our old favourite, Marathon, some stiff competition.

Yes, Calgary, you are complex and I feel love and non-love for you at the same time. Mostly, I love how you prepared me to fully appreciate the beautiful place I live now.

Time Goes By/So Slowly

Oh, who am I kidding? One day, our little chops (or 'Chopz', as we like to call her- it's more festive that way) was resting peacefully in her incubator, a mere 4 and some pounds:


Then I blinked and it was her first birthday!

Rockin' the birthday suit for her first birthday! February 08, 2008

I have to say, she is an incredible little girl (even though the total time I have spent in her company still adds up to less than 12 hours). She is clever, a little bit devious (just like her mom!), gorgeous, and most importantly: healthy and happy. I wish she would have bared her actual chops for some photos during our drive-by visit... but no go. I am thrilled to bits that she sports a GIANT space in between her two front teeth-- at latest check, a whole two nickels worth! Aw... that means she's family!

Happy birthday, Lily! Go, C-H-O-P-Z!!!

"I Like Math?!" and other Shocking Realizations

As much as we talk about the need to 'think outside the box', or about not wanting others to put us in a box, or to label us, or to define us by such narrow standards, the truth is that we often put ourselves into our own boxes without even realizing it. Our identities are so tied up with particular elements that their box-like status becomes invisible to us, until of course somebody exposes them for what they really are: damn hell ass boxes!

For the greater part of my life, I have put myself into various (but always cool, right?) boxes: the vegetarian box (which is of course made out of 100 % post-consumer materials and will be recycled if ever I choose to step out of it); the 'i hate to debate for the sake of debating' box, the chocoholic box, and the 'alternative' (whatever that means) box. Boxes I have religiously avoided or distanced myself from include the 'let's critically engage with the issues because we're scholars and that's what scholars do' box, the 'practicing Roman Catholic' box, and others that I will choose not to mention here, lest the sarcasm and subtle nuances of the descriptions be misinterpreted on the other end (and we don't want to give anybody a stroke now, do we?).

Anyway, one box that has never really crossed the path I identify with contains all sorts of math people: accountants, engineers, mathematicians, physicists, etc. I have many friends in said professions, but nothing about that math box ever enticed me enough to want to jump in. Despite my (totally fake) near-perfect averages in all my high school math classes, it was the subject I dropped out of my life as soon as I had the chance (bless the Faculty of Communication and Culture for that). In my mind, math and I just didn't jive. And if we ever did jive, it was because we were forced to, a la the social dance unit in junior high dance classes. In other words, math had the potential to be fun and exhilarating, but mostly it was awkward and disastrous in practice.

Getting to the point of this post (in a roundabout way), as I hinted last time, I have been feeling the blahs at my job lately. We were insanely busy for the last 4 months, and then all of a sudden everything stopped, and I was left surfing the internet for most of my days. I love surfing the net as much as anyone else, but when it comes down to it, I'd really prefer my job to be challenging, stimulating, and to keep me busy for the full 8 hours versus paying me just to sit there and be bored. Just saying.

I started looking for other work-- something different, and then I felt guilty for never being satisfied with where I am and for always keeping an eye out for something better. (I might not be a practicing Roman Catholic, but I certainly am a recovering one!) A new job was posted in my workplace, and 3 out of 5 managers asked me to please apply for it. But when I looked at the job description, at the scattered and vague job requirements, my first thought was 'I'd rather vomit'. So I kept my eyes wandering...

Yesterday, in the strange and auspicious voice of the universe, I was asked if I would consider applying for a vacant accounting assistant position in the organization, and strangely, I found myself saying yes. I SAID YES!!! This comes from the woman who swore off math like a bad habit, who dreads tax time every year (except for the refund part!), and who thought (up until a few hours ago) that numbers of all sorts were best used like a narcotic to induce a deep, coma-like sleep.

Since when are math and I best friends again... or, for that matter, at all?

How I can potentially rationalize this complete deviation from my norm:

1. I might not particularly like numbers, but I am very good at solving problems and finding patterns.
2. I have a secret crush on counting money and adding things up. (Just don't get me started on the subtraction business. Or any long division.)
3. Apparently, I am extremely good at entering in random codes and numbers at lightning speed, and having them be correct.
4. As much as I love the open-endedness and creativity of qualitative inquiry, I equally love it when there is only one right answer to any given problem. It's like the job description of accounting is to have things balance out-- each and every time, and honestly, who doesn't love balance?
5. Even if I cannot comprehend why on earth I would ever want to pursue something in accounting, I trust that when the universe practically drops a job in my lap, it's for a damn good reason. I just haven't got the foggiest idea what that reason could be yet.

The next steps (i.e. applying for the position, picking out a pair of sensible 'accounting' shoes and an equally sensible/conservative pair of glasses to wear on the job) are still in the works, so for the time being I'm still bored and surfing the internet at work. However, starting tomorrow, I have a whole week off, so I can sit back and let the universe orchestrate my next wacky adventure and you can all tune in to see it unfold when I get back!